Thank You Just In Time

 On July 12th I took my seat at a cabaret table in the front row of Broadway’s Circle In The Square, unaware of the magical moment that was about to take place during the evening performance of Just in Time, my favorite show currently on Broadway. I’d dressed the part of an attendee at a classy 1950s Coppacabbana style supperclub, and even got my hair and makeup done.

For those unfamiliar with the show, Just in Time tells the story of Bobby Darin, a singer from the 1950’s and 60’s. Bobby Darin was known for his primal passion for performing and connecting with his audiences. There are stories of how Darin would go into the aisles and hug audience members, dance with them, kiss a pretty girl on the cheek or hand, serenade couples, etc. It’s been said that Darin knew how to make someone feel like the only person in a room, and you left a Darin show feeling like he was your friend

Jonathan Groff, one of Broadway’s most extraordinary talents (and my longtime crush), plays Darin with a ferocity unlike anything I've seen. Like Darin, Groff has spoken extensively about his primal passion for performing and the need to connect with his audiences. This show gives him the opportunity to do so on a level that I’ve never seen, it takes immersive theater to a new level. I thought Cabaret At The Kit Kat Club was immersive, this made Cabaret look like child’s play. Groff and co, go into the audience several times, they even have a couple of scenes at some of the tables, they serenade attendees, Groff dances with pretty girls in the audience, he calls out couples, celebrates birthdays and other occasions in the audience, and involves audience members in moments of improv, one of which my dear friend got to experience with Erika Henningsen. It is this set up that led to a once in a lifetime opportunity for me that I never imagined having.

When I previously attended the show two other times, I was the recipient of some small but sweet interactions with Groff and co, mainly being serenaded a few times, a few sweet smiles, eye contact, and getting his approval of my costume, on my second visit, we even sang “Dream Lover” to each other at the top of act 2. I also got a quick ad lib the first time I went and reacted quite theatrically to a corny (sorry Jonathan) Mindhunter joke. 

At the end of the show, after a brief encore from his two female co-stars, Groff emerges from the stage, sings a little of “Dream Lover” and picks one lucky person to come on stage and dance with him. I always envied the people in the front who even had a chance at such an opportunity, dreaming of what it might be like to get such an incredible moment.

Nothing could have prepared me for the moment that Groff came over to my table with a giant smile, held out his hand to me, and said “birthday girl, will you dance with me?” I gasped, and happily took his hand, the audience melting away as Groff brought me out to the middle of the dance floor and twirled me around like a princess, singing “Dream Lover, a giant smile on his face as my skirt flew up, he was enjoying this as much as i was. As he gently pulled me closer to him, he held the microphone to my mouth, prompting me to sing, and bringing me back to the reality of having an audience of 800 people watching us, along with pop star Gracie Lawerence, Hazben Hotel star Erika Heningsen, and the legendary Michelle Pawk. All it took was Groff smiling at me and giving my hand a gentle squeeze, and my confidence skyrocketed. Without a second thought, I belted out “SHE’LL BRING HER LOVE TO MEEEEEE!” Groff's smile exploded into a look of pure joy. He shook with excitement, then screamed at the top of his lungs “LETS HEAR IT FOR HER!” And for the first time in my entire life, an audience didn’t just cheer for me, they ROARED with applause. Not a captive audience of peers forced to hear me present a project or read a passage in another language. An audience that was there for Groff, but still applauded an amateaur. And for the first time in my life, I cried happy tears. As he gave me my hat back, through my tears I told Groff, “I love you so much.” I wasn’t sure if he’d heard me, but Groff turned back to me, mid lyric, winked, and said “I love you too.” 

To many, this 20 second interaction with Groff doesn’t sound like a big deal, looks like fan service, or makes me sound like a crazy fangirl. I’m not ashamed to admit that I am an extremely passionate Jonathan Groff fan, I’ve adored him since I was a teenager, and I am known at work (and teased) for my passion for him and his work. But when he squeezed my hand and put that microphone in front of me, it was not just the fulfillment of 16 years of being a fan, I felt something I never thought I'd feel. I felt years upon years of heartbreaking and soul crushing rejection slip away. It also gave me the courage to keep pushing through my painful fertility treatments (and the heartbreaking reality of the circumstances), and the strength to get through the most difficult school year of my entire career 

Theater, choir, glee, and drama clubs are meant to be a safe and welcoming space….for me…it wasn’t always the most welcoming place. 

Despite growing up in a family that loved theater, non stop singing, acting, and dancing lessons, my love of theater was never fully nurtured. I was told at a very young age, multiple times, that due to my lack of connections, lack of donated funds, my low social status at school, my reputation as the “queen of freaks” and a “werido”, and compared to others, my lack of talent, i’d never get to be on a stage unless it was a mandatory performance for a class, like choir. 

Even though everyone told me no, I kept dreaming, kept trying, kept auditioning, kept getting my hopes up, kept taking classes, I even got professional vocal training. But it seemed like everyone wanted to put up roadblocks and keep me off the stage. Be it a community theater stage, local stage, even my school stage, everyone kept me off the stage, and went to extraordinary lengths to do so. Jonathan Groff gave all those naysayers the biggest and most public middle finger. Groff had no idea if I was talented, rich, popular, etc, he just wanted to do something nice for a fan, like he does every night. My boss (and many other co workers) noticed a spike in my confidence after that dance, that confidence has carried over into all facets of my life. I have become fearless, I even started performing in public, something I would have never done before. I even danced in front of Circle In The Square, and sang in the middle of the Theater District not once, but TWICE, earning applause from the Operation Mincemeat cast, and several onlookers

Just a week after the show, I went through the most painful medical procedure I've ever endured, I was scared, no…not just scared…terrified. It was Jonathan’s relaxing voice, and those memories from my visits to Circle in The Square that got me through the procedure, completely relaxed with minimal tears. My memories and the soundtrack have also aided me on my hardest days in this painful journey. I listen to the music, or I'll watch the video of my dance before EVERY single fertility appointment, and I tell myself “If I can sing and dance in front of Jonathan Groff and 800 other strangers, I can get through this appointment.” And, I have, every time. The procedures and appointments are never easier, but Groff gave me a precious memory to make them bearable.

But the ones who have been most positively impacted…are my precious students in my toddler and preschool classes. Some of my students are too poor to even see community theater productions. I've been told that introducing my students to Jonathan’s music, singing it, playing the soundtrack, and just talking about him and his work in general is the closest some of them may ever get to Broadway. 

Some of my students don’t speak English, but they sing “Splish Splash” and talk about Groff. Some of my students don’t even speak, period, but they connect with their peers, and me, through this amazing music. Last year I had a 99% non verbal student, but within a month of playing and singing Splish Splash non stop (much to my co teachers displeasure), she was washing her hands without giving us trouble, and even started sounding out the words, by the end of the year, she even said “GroffSauce”, I was ready to cry. When the same student had trouble sleeping, Groff’s voice would soothe her enough to relax her. 

My students also express interest in theater outside of Jonathan’s work, some are even enrolling in theater and dance classes. Being exposed to Jonathan’s work has opened up a whole new world to them. One of my kids had the chance to go to New York for a day trip, and she was delighted to see Groff’s picture on a billboard in Times Square, and tell her parents “that’s Mr. Jonathan, he’s on ‘the broadway, and Miss Emily loooooooves him.” Now she wants to see the show, I even taught her the dance to Mack the Knife. I hope she gets the chance

The music and Groff have even saved my ass (and potentially my job) when it comes to classroom management. Kids can be rowdy, and love to test limits, it's just in their nature. Now they look forward to their daily reward of dancing to “Splish Splash” or watching videos of Groff dancing if they listen. The mere mention of Groff, or Splish Splash is enough to make my crying kids happy again

The words “thank you” don’t seem like enough to express my gratitude to every single person involved in this show, but at the moment, all I can say is “thank you.”

Thank you Alex Timbers for giving us the gift of this incredible show, and for creating a space for us all to gather and love on this cast, thank you for allowing us to experience these amazing performances in the most special and intimate way. 

Thank you Shannon Lewis for giving us the electrifying choreography that my kiddos cannot get enough of, i’ve been requested to dance to the music multiple times a day. 

Thank you Andrew Resnik for those incredible musical arrangements. I never imagined that I'd walk out of Circle In The Square singing all those songs after just one visit, much less teach them to my class. You brought the magic of Bobby Darrin’s music to a new generation, and kept it alive for people like my mother, who grew up listening to Darrin’s music. Thank you for allowing me to find comfort in this music.   

To the entire cast of this show, you created magic in that theater, thank you for sharing your talents with us, thank you for always being so kind to me at the stage door, thank you for welcoming me to this safe space, thank you for humoring me when I went over the top with my costume. Thank you for bringing these characters to life, thank you for creating lifelong memories for everyone. Groff may be the star, but the show wouldn’t be what it is without you all. There is no Bobby Darrin without Sandra Dee and Connie Francis. There is no show without those sirens, or the backup singers. Those heartfelt moments would be nothing without Polly and Nina. And there certainly is no show without swings and understudies, who had the monumental task of going on for some pretty big names. Respect. I wish I could bake you all a batch of brownies after every show. 

Most importantly, Jonathan Groff, you angel of a human, where do I even start? Preferably without crying as I write this. I only wish, with every part of me, that I could hug you, and thank you in person. My students would absolutely lose their heads. Thank you for being your amazing and unique self each and every night, thank you for giving us every last drop of your never ending energy at every single performance, I have no idea how you do it, thank you for that dance, thank you for giving me a very special form of comfort throughout my fertility journey, thank you for being such a positive role model for my students (who adore “Mr Jonathan” so so much), thank you for bringing Bobby Darrin music into my life, thank you for this show, thank you for every single memory your audiences made, thank you making us smile and forget our troubles, thank you for making my sweet class smile, thank you for getting me through two very hard school years. You will be so missed when you leave the show. But I know I speak for so many passionate fans when I say, we cannot wait to see what you do next. I personally hope that it's season 3 of Mindhunter 😆 

You all may have forgotten the red head in the pretty polka dot dress, but i’l never forget you or this show. 

Thank you Mr. Groff

Thank you cast

Thank you crew 

Thank you creative team

Thank you Just In Time.